Aretha sang about it, but it’s way more than a song.

It was something ever-present and good that kinda seems to have pretty much disappeared in today’s world.

But, it’s not all gone.                                                                                                        That’s not fair.                                                                                                                            I see it now and then and with surprise and pleasure.                                                  Rare, but still there.

And manners? consideration?                                                                                             Gone somewhere with RESPECT.

What happened?                                                                                                            Where’d they go?

Once not so very long ago, we were all mostly polite.                                               People were kind to and considerate of each other.

But it’s become such a rarity that our TV news stations now feature acts of kindness as nightly newsworthy events…..when they can find one!

The dictionary that lives in my computer says that RESPECT is a deep admiration for someone, elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.                               It goes on to say that RESPECT is a regard for the feelings and rights of others.

My Facebook friends say that RESPECT is The Golden Rule along with;  kindness, honesty, caring, dignity, politely noticing and acknowledging others, using manners, minding your own business (MYOB), being able to tell someone the tough stuff, admitting mistakes and giving genuine apologies, giving the benefit of the doubt, introducing ourselves and shaking hands, using table manners, sending thank you notes, taking notice of the needs of others and finally, giving love and understanding even when you don’t agree in order to choke off hatred.

As I read the different meanings of RESPECT, I realized politeness plus kindness equals RESPECT to many of us.

So, is that it?                                                                                                                       We’ve lost politeness and kindness?                                                                              Well, then…..where did they go?

Shoppers and clerks, diners and waiters, students and teachers, medical personnel and patients…..all the mutual RESPECT, gone!                                                            How often do we not even look at the person we’re talking to because we’re multi-tasking?                                                                                                                                Think for a moment how rude that is.                                                                                 I see it every day when I’m out.                                                                                        Entire transactions completed with absolutely zero eye contact or verbal exchange…..not one look, not one word.                                                                          Not even a thank you and, while I’m at it…..the magic words?                                   You know, please and thank you?                                                                                Where’d they go?                                                                                                               Those two words really were magic…..they made smiles.

My mom taught me manners, maybe that’s where the RESPECT comes from?  Maybe manners and RESPECT are a go-together two-some?                             Parents, teachers, and adults in general, they all taught us RESPECT.                Maybe it was partly the stories that were read to us, or the movies we watched….. most were aimed at kindness and good always prevailed.

My Catholic school friends and I can tell you that the nuns helped students acquire RESPECT real quick.                                                                                                         They taught it…..in truth, they demanded it.                                                                 They used a technique called The Fear Method.                                                              They scared the beJesus outta anyone with even any thoughts of disrespect.

Maybe just like kids today are born with chips inserted skin-deep behind their ears allowing automatic understanding of computers…..maybe our chips were about RESPECT?

We see it on our highways…..road rage, a new term in today’s world of lost RESPECT.                                                                                                                                It’s become a common occurance and …..                                                                  WHY?

There was a time, when if drivers wanted to switch lanes it was as simple as putting their blinker-light on and someone let them over.                                                   Today?                                                                                                                                    Just try it!                                                                                                                                Try movin’ over if you happen to be driving a bit ahead of the highway-nazi who has decided that you are not going to be granted entrance to that lane…..the highway-nazi is not gonna let you over.

Yelling obscenities from car to car, “flipping the bird,” getting shot, even being killed.                                                                                                                                   WHY?

I don’t, I can’t understand.                                                                                             Mean is all I can think.                                                                                                   Drugs, alcohol, anger, the need to control?                                                                          I really don’t know, but I have to think that somehow it all has to do with a loss of RESPECT.

A daughter once said to me when she’d finished college that she considered herself an adult at that point and therefore her parents were now her peers.                        Really?                                                                                                                                   How does that work?                                                                                                      Parents and peers, no difference?                                                                                        So all of a sudden it became OK to treat your parents like you do your peers?       Talk to them in the same way?                                                                                      Argue with them, swear at them, call them names…..that’s OK?                             Trust me, there were times we felt like letting our parents have it and…..we did!  But only with our friends or in the privacy of our own minds!                                Never out loud or face to face with our parents and maybe I’m wrong but I call that RESPECT.

Neighbors, school teachers and parents of friends were addressed as Mr or Mrs whatever.                                                                                                                            Never, ever did we use their first names.                                                                     Mam, Sir, Mrs, Mr somewhere along the line turned into “you guys.”

I’m not meaning’ that “you guys” is a bad thing.                                                            I’m not meanin’ that kids calling adult friends and neighbors by their first name is a bad thing.  (However, you never heard Eddie Haskall call Mrs Cleaver, June!)                                                                                                                                  I really don’t care about that part but I wonder if that’s when a kind of a more relaxed atmosphere happened?                                                                                   Calling everyone the “you guys” words kinda puts all into one big pot, no difference, everyone is “you guys.”                                                                                From “you guys,” into  the big pot of no distinction with less manners and politeness.                                                                                                                           From there it’s a short fall going from less manners to no manners and that’s what seems to have happened.                                                                                                    And maybe, just like that…..RESPECT disappeared.

Movies, lyrics to songs…..did they have something to do with the loss of RESPECT? Are they the culprits?

In today’s world, movies, song lyrics and books often show a complete lack of RESPECT among the characters who are acting as real people.                   Oftentimes even horrible negative behavior is glorified.                                        Maybe this kind of behavior has rubbed-off on impressionable minds?                       I don’t know.

All I’m wondering is if everyonel lived by The Golden Rule…..do on to others as we would have them do on to us…..maybe that would bring back some kindness some courtesy, and isn’t that what RESPECT is all about?                                                   And gee, what’s so bad about that?

I’m aware that I reach a small amount of people BUT…..even just a few can have a positive effect on another few until…..a few turns into a lot!                                        All we have to do is be present.                                                                                          Just take a moment to actually look at someone, smile and say something nice every single day to as many peolple as you can.                                                            Let’s start there.                                                                                                                          I don’t know, maybe it’ll catch on.                                                                                      I’m afraid the gold from The Golden Rule has dulled.                                                  But, we can bring it back to a shine.

RESPECT…to me, it’s a kind of LOVE.

Thank you to my Facebook friends who shared their meanings of RESPECT with me.

Lastly, I’m fully aware that there are some that do not deserve RESPECT but…..that’s another story!