A few years ago life was clipping along for us and we seemed to be dodging bullets that were hitting many others.

I’ve always kinda figured I paid my dues during a pretty nasty “childhood” and should cruise the rest of the ride.

The early part of my adulthood was good; I had a happy marriage and four little girls I was crazy about and I loved being their mom.

But eventually the bullets began to hit… again and again and when I looked up, everything had changed.

It was now the middle part of my life.

My little girls were almost grown and the happy marriage had become unhappy.

Divorce is horrid.

I was lost, had no idea where I was headed or what to do.

I went to therapy, read self-help and seemed to just drift for a while.

And then one day the clouds lifted, the sun began to shine and my Knight in Shining Armour arrived.

That was over thirty five years ago; thirty five absolutely amazing years.

And for most of those years as I’ve already mentioned, we dodged bullets.

Retirement came and we followed our dream and returned to the California Coast to live.

And it was so good…..for maybe a minute and then it got real bad.

A routine annual physical exam became NOT routine.

It became bladder cancer.

Some things in life can’t be prepared for.

Bladder cancer is one of them.

Life as we knew it, stopped.

We became zombies going through the motions, not able to think much or make many decisions.

We relied on our medical plan to guide us to the specialists and through the maize of treatments that would eventually make it all go away.

Our days of lounging on beach chairs in the sand, reading and watching kids playing in the waves were replaced with clinic visits and Immunotherapy treatments.

The hardest part became the think time.

The times sitting in the waiting room for the treatments to end.

The times at home with not much to do other than wait for the next treatment.

I didn’t like the thoughts that bombarded me in my quiet moments.

We decided to fight this enemy but we needed weapons.

Prayer works for some.

We needed something different, something we could grab on to and feel.

Minutes from where we lived was a residential and vacation resort.

The kind of place you see in upscale travel magazines.

We’d read about a program they offered and we decided to investigate………..

The grounds were beyond gorgeous.

The pools weren’t just swimming pools but works of architectural art.

The golf courses were beautiful enough to make me wanna learn to play golf just so I could walk on them.

And I admit it was a thrill and fairly common to see faces we all know from Hollywood movies, sitting under palm trees, surrounded by gardens of exotic flowers, sipping wine and munching on platters of sushi. 

At the far end of the complex there was a traditional Spanish building complete with white stucco, and red-tiled roof.

We approached the building and two monks in their long brown robes smiled, held open the doors and invited us in.

We entered, looked around and were thrilled to find that this was The Deepok Chopra Meditation Center.

We were in a gift shop full of everything about meditation and Deepok Chopra; books, magazines, CD’s, incense, candles, jewelry, clothing and much more.

We purchased a book, a CD and an incense candle then decided to investigate more of the building.

We wandered down a hall.

A posting outside one of the doors announced guided meditation every morning at 8 a.m. and the important word…..FREE!

We felt that this might be our answer.

We showed up the next morning and were greeted by a lovely, soft spoken young woman who asked us to remove our shoes and showed us where they’d be safe along with out jackets and then we were ushered inside.

The room was a bit bigger than maybe someone’s family room and dimly lit with candles and burning incense.

In the middle of the room was a statue of a Hindu Goddess; which one I’m not sure….maybe Krishna?

She was up on a pedastol and below her was a waterfall gently trickling into a lovely  pool.

Huge pillows were placed on the floor around the pool inviting anyone intersted to sit.

Along three of the walls was furniture; huge overstuffed sofas and chairs.

The kind you just want to crawl up into and take a nap.

There were wicker baskets of beautiful afghans and big fluffy throw pillows for an even more comfortable feel.

If at maximum capacity, the room looked like it could hold maybe 15 people.

The woman who brought us inside then told us to take whatever we needed to make ourselves comfortable.

I chose an afghan and two huge pillows to rest our feet on and we sunk into an overstuffed loveseat, not knowing what to expect next but ready and looking forward to whatever it was.

Soon 5 or 6 more people came in, found a spot and we were settled in.

A very delicate bell rang and for the next few minutes we were all greeted as a group by the welcoming woman and then told what to expect from the next approximately 30 to 45 minutes.

And then we began.

We closed our eyes as instructed and she guided us in a very soft, calming voice.

We started with simply paying attention to our breath.

Next she explained she would present us with four questions but we didn’t need to answer them.

She suggested we just accept whatever thoughts come to mind about each question.

That lasted maybe ten minutes.

Following the the four questions, we were guided next to say to ourselves our full names like…..”I am Sue Fone” for maybe a minute or so.

Then just our first name, “I am Sue.”

Next, “I am.”

Finally we reached “Ah Hum.”

We chanted Ah Hum to ourselves for about 20 minutes.

A beautiful, comfortable, completely quiet 20 minutes.

The delicate bell rang again and our leader asked us to repeat three words to ourselves and consider their meaning; BEING, AWARENESS, EXISTENCE.

She commented that they all meant the same thing.

Afterwards, I had to mull that one over but finally decided that yes, they DO all mean the same thing.

Finally we were instructed to keep our eyes closed while we repeated 4 phrases to ourselves a few times.

Joyful, energetic body

Reflective, alert mind

Loving, compassionate heart

and Lightness of being.

Lastly she told us we could open our eyes whenever we felt ready.

OK, OK, this all may sound a bit out there.

But we were looking for something and this is what we found.

That very morning we both left that experience with an amazing calm within.

We returned every morning and attended the guided meditation group for the rest of the time we lived in Southern California, about six months.

It was similar to praying…..I’ve done both.

Going to meditation each morning gave us what we needed to get through and beat Bladder Cancer.

After moving back to Sacramento, we attended a few meditation classes.

Maybe we’d been spoiled by Deepok but they just didn’t measure up.

However, we missed our morning ritual.

We found our days were much easier when we began them with meditation.

One day we realized we had no use for two spare bedrooms and one could easily be turned into our very own meditation room.  

A couple of bean-bag chairs, a book case, plants, candles, incense, pillows, room darkening curtains, afghans, a bit of wall decor and there it was, our own meditation room. 

Deepok would be proud!

The very best part is with a little searching on-line, we found the exact program that we followed down south but this one was actually led by Deepok Chopra himself.

During the past four years our morning meditation has helped us deal with two huge frights; Melanoma and Parkinson’s.

Both with happy endings.

The Melanoma was removed and we were given the all clear.

The Parkinson’s was a mis-diagnosis but for THREE long years it hung over our heads.

I’m not meaning to proclaim that meditation created miracles…..it didn’t and it won’t.

What it’s done mostly is it’s taught us calm acceptance to life and all the stressors that we can’t control.

Last year we spent a heavenly week in Southern California as tourists remembering when we were locals.

We decided to go back to the Deepok Chopra Center one morning to meditate.

To our surprise, it was gone.

We inquired and found the program had been discontinued…..a week following our move back to Sacramento.

Now, do what you like with THAT one…..but that’s what I might call a miracle.

And now I ask you to think about the four questions we think about every morning…

WHO ARE YOU?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?

Namaste my friends.