I need to go backwards for this one.

And, it’s hard.

It was summer, 1984.    

Our house had been sold, the movers were notified and we were on our way.

We arrived on September 1st and our new life in California began.

It was an exciting time; we’d moved to California, found jobs, my girls were quickly making friends, and a new home was being built for us on a hill overlooking Folsom Lake. 

I still remember my husband and I sitting  on the hood of our car one evening parked in front of the big dirt hole that was gonna be our new home.

We were full of plans and dreams…..SHORT LIVED!

It was the middle of the night, the first week of October. 

My husband woke with chest pain.  

He was 42 years old. His father had died from a heart attack when he was 40 years old. 

I took one look at him, asked a few questions and knew. 

Next thing I remember we were in the ER and I was being told he was suffering a heart attack.

The month of October was mostly a blur to me…..even now all these years later.

He was transferred to a hospital in Sacramento and had open heart surgery, a five vessel bypass.

I worked the midnight shift at a small community hospital, slept an hour or two in the morning, then spent the rest of the day in Sacramento with my husband.

My girls? They were pretty much left to fend for themselves.

I didn’t THINK, I just kept moving.

I  met with my husbands new boss and begged him for time.

I promised he’d heal quickly. 

But, business is business and he had to let him go.

I met with the builder of our new home, without 2 incomes we couldn’t afford the house and so, we lost it AND the huge deposit we’d put on it to make it ours.

Eventually the builder showed a heart and told us he wouldn’t give us our money back but when we were ready, he’d build us another home.

There was a huge rainstorm, the rental house flooded.

My oldest daughter decided she wanted to move back “home” and that was ripping at my heart.

We were living on my income only.

Thanksgiving time rolled around. 

Somehow our story reached the local newspaper and we were interviewed for a front page Thanksgiving feature.

Next we received a food basket from an organization affiliated with the city.

I don’t know who or how this all happened but it did.

One of my girls developed a horrid eye infection. 

An Opthamologist with an amazing huge heart, not only treated her and didn’t charge us, she came to the house one Saturday to check on her, AND brought us a huge Thanksgiving turkey.

This is when I learned what HUMILITY really meant and felt like.

When I worked as a nurse in my hometown at Christmas time, my crazy friend, ACM who worked alongside me and I organized a NEEDY FAMILY drive in the ER.  

He would dress up as Santa and the night before Christmas, we’d deliver bags and bags of food, money and clothes and toys for the kids. To this day, I don’t remember anything more HEART FELT.

And then in a blink of an eye…..my family was the needy family.

I was sick about Christmas, there would be no gifts for my girls.

They were so understanding that even today it brings tears to my eyes.

A Christmas Card signed by all my ER friends from back home and $400 arrived one day.  

My girls would have Christmas!

I felt like a punching bag…..just one slug after another.

The final blow was the fact that we had NO medical insurance, NONE!

I had a job but my insurance didn’t kick in for 90 days.

A brand new law had recently been passed called COBRA.  

Cobra allowed an employee leaving their job to continue with their medical insurance at a much higher premium, of course but…..we knew nothing of COBRA and if it wasn’t enacted within 30 days of leaving the job, it was lost.

The hospital docked my paycheck every two weeks and it took me years and years to payoff that surgery.

I was like a wet noodle.  

All anyone had to do was look at me and I’d break down.

It was then my girlfriend suggested I come back “home” for a while, be with friends and try to get my head working again.

And so I did.

A party was planned for the night after I arrived at a neighborhood bar.

Lately my girlfriend had found herself thinking about an old high-school boyfriend.

We decided we should find him and get him to that party and…..we did!

 

Would he show? 

We didn’t know.

But when we opened the big double doors to the bar and before we were two steps in, there he was, sitting at the bar, facing the doors.

She looked back over her shoulder at me, “I’m goin’ home with him.”  

And she did.  

The trip home was good for me. 

I returned to California feeling renewed and ready to face whatever but before long, we realized there were too many broken pieces and we tried but weren’t able to fix it.

And in the end, it was a divorce.

Before the year was over, my girlfriend married that high-school sweetheart of hers and by the time they came to visit, I was coming back to life and, way beyond strange….. also dating an old high school boyfriend. (How we found each other 3,000 miles from home and 20 years later…..well, that’s another story!)

That was the beginning of our couples friendship that lasted through many years and so many great times together.

The four of us got together at least once a year and when we did, we often forgot to be adults.  

We had some wild times and crazy fun trips.  

Wish I would have written them all down, I’m sure I’ve forgotten half of them.

But, I wonder if she remembers…………………………..

(Yep, more to come.)