Thirteen years ago today, February 2nd 2004, my daughter was born again.

Not the born again that happens in religion, the born again that legally turned her into my daughter..…an adoption.

Early on a week-day morning, standing in front of a judge in a Monterey court-room we held tight to each other and in a magic moment she became my daughter and I became her mom.

Before the judge began the legal part, he looked up at the two of us and then at our proud family all sitting with wet eyes but smiling faces and told us all what a pleasure it was for him to be a part of such a happy event.

And when he proudly announced that we were at that moment, mother and daughter, he looked again at our family and gave them his OK to clap.
And clap they did; loud, happy and full of love and of course, more tears.

Some may wonder, why after thirty years a woman feels the need to be adopted?
I didn’t understand.

She’d been a part of my life since she was twelve years old.
I never tried to be her mom, didn’t want to push that on her.
But, I had to be a parent and sometimes that made me the wicked step-mother.

One evening, she poured her heart out to who one day, would be her big sister.
She described an empty feeling not knowing what having a mom meant.
It was a part of life she knew nothing about.
What did an “I love you from a Mom” feel like?

Feeling ok to discuss it with me, her soon-to-be legal older sister called and told me what was she was going through emotionally and what her heart was longing for.

After our conversation, my thoughts began to wander in a direction they’d never gone before.

I loved her as if she were my own daughter. I had no idea she needed more.

I walked down to my thinking bench, minutes from our home atop the Pacific and as the huge waves came roaring forward crashing against the boulders and exploding in every direction, I thought of her.

Later that evening, I called her and told her I had a question but I wanted her to think very hard before answering …..did she want me to adopt her? Did she want me to be her mom?

“YES, YES, YES” I could hear through her sobs, “It’s my dream to call you mom.”

That’s how it happened that a thirty year old woman wanted to be adopted. She wanted a mom. She NEEDED a mom.

If I ever come face to face with the woman who brought her onto this planet but wasn’t able to be her mom, I’ll thank her for the most precious gift of MY daughter.

In December, everybody wishes her Happy Birthday, and so do I.

But on February 2nd each year, I remember the day she became my daughter and I became her mom.

Happy Born Again Birthday Sweetheart.

I love you,

Mom
xxx