I’m careful with my computers.
I’m always careful…..forever, well not really forever but for a long time.
I’ve sipped coffee in the morning while catching up with E-Mails, cold drinks during the afternoon while writing and even a glass of wine now and then in the evening with facebook but hey, I’m careful. 

So what the heck happened the day I reached over my lemonade for something and the glass decided to tip over………smack into my laptop keyboard?

My nurse reflexes took over.
I’m trained to think CPR when faced with an emergency. 

When there’s no heartbeat, the goal is to restore one.

“Laptop, Laptop, are you OK?”

No response.

Begin CPR.

When it’s a wet environment, the goal is to restore dry.

What to do?

Get the hair blower!

I turned the machine upside down to drain the liquid, and then aimed the hair blower at the keys, made sense to me.
Not ‘til later, much later did I think maybe that wasn’t a good move.
Status post drainage and hair blower it still wasn’t working.
It tried to respond a couple of times but there was a sound missing. ..the whirring sound of the fan.

The directions!
Where were the directions?

I searched the file cabinet and found the pertinent paperwork in a folder labeled “Computer Crap.”

“NEVER USE A HAIR BLOWER ON A WET COMPUTER”….great!

OK, fine.
Moving right along.
What next?

“PROP THE MACHINE UP SO AIR CAN FILTER ALL AROUND IT”

I balanced it on 2 big paint cans, turned on the ceiling fan and warned the “innocent bystander,” also known as husband, NOT to touch it!

It sat there for 2 days, up on those cans.
I burned Incense, Gypsy Candles, Chanted and referred to my “Magical Household Handbook” for help.

My husband, with his hands behind his back, looked often but didn’t touch.
On day three he plugged it in at my request.
It worked…..for a minute.
It tried but needed help. 

I unplugged its life support and headed for the nearest “big box” electronic place.

I picked a number and waited in line for my turn.

Three people were currently being helped at the counter. 

I watched and listened and decided which fix-it guy I DIDN’T want helping me and guess what?
Yep, “NEXT”………he was calling me.
DAMN! I didn’t like his vibes.

I stuttered, “My computer. Lemonade. Help”.

“It’s shot” he said, without even TOUCHING it!

“Wait a minute. You didn’t even look at it”!

“How old?”

“3 ½ years”.

“Old. Ya need a new one”

“No!
Touch it.
Examine it.
Fix it.
My stuff, all my stuff.
It can’t die.”

The extremely unfriendly repair guy was not happy.
I was requesting he actually DO something like move a body part.

He took my machine and went into the back room, out of sight.
First, I’m sure to bitch about the computer-illiterate-woman at the counter who doesn’t understand that dead means Dead.
Gone.
Bye Bye.
No Mas!

Second, to pretend to do something.

He returned with something small in his hand.
“Your information is all safe, but your computer is dead”
“What’s that?”

“The Hard Drive”

The hard drive?
Oh crap, he did a lobotomy surgery in the back room and was holding my computer’s BRAIN in his hands!
He then announced for $99 he could copy all the information from the hard drive on to a CD for me.
$99?
Why do they say $99?
Do they think we don’t know that the next number is $100?
Do they think we go….”$99, whew, glad it wasn’t $100?”
I decided not to ask. 

I didn’t like this guy.
I requested he put the working brain back into my machine’s dead body.
He did and I was out the door.

I decided he was one of those salespeople that doesn’t care WHAT you say, he’s thinking “dead computer” when you walk in the door.

Somewhere between electronics store number one and two, I began to think maybe it was time for a new machine.

I entered store number two and was immediately approached by a great smile.
OK, I liked this guy.
I mean, he could be the “dilbert” of the crew, I didn’t know but he had a great smile.
Since I know nothing about computers, my criteria was to make my purchase based on which salesperson I liked best.
The smile-guy won hands down and he smiled through the entire transaction.

I did it.
I bought a new computer.

Halfway home I was hit with “buyers remorse.”
I mean, I went out to get my computer fixed, and well…..there it was, strapped in the passenger seat, a new computer.

But I didn’t feel bad for long.
I took it home, plugged it in and, it worked.

I do have a new rule.
NO drinks near the computer.
Not even on the desk.
So my morning coffee, afternoon lemonade and evening wine now sit on top my printer.

I know, I know.
There could be a spill there too but, it’s old.

And well….. I could use a new one.