They were two four-legged, furry nephews of mine.
Both unique in their own ways.

Big Red was a Retriever, a wonderful and very funny guy, and smart…..oh he was smart.

He had a toybox full, and I mean FULL of toys and he knew each toy by name.
If we told him to go get his Blue Baby Doll, he’d run like a freight train, dumped his head low into his huge toybox and threw out one toy after another until he found Blue Baby Doll and then he’d happily come running back to whomever had made the request and Blue Baby Doll would be plopped into their lap.

Do you remember a long time ago when we were told that animals had no feelings, didn’t understand words and could not think?
Well, don’t be tryin’ to tell that to Big Red.
Not only did he understand almost everything being said by humans, we couldn’t even SPELL words, ‘cause he knew that trick too.

He was your typical looking Golden if you include a different colored scarf around his neck every day AND, clothes…..Big Red liked to wear clothes.
He’d strut in his different outfits and wait for praise and when he got it, that big heavy tail wagged back and forth AND, I’m telling you…..he smiled!

You’ve seen those dog-toy squeaky pacifiers?
Big Red had one and he walked around with it in his mouth all day long.
Just a damn funny, damn lovable dog.

He and his family were relocating from east to west.

We lived on the Monterey Peninsula at the time in a big Victorian house with plenty of room, so they stayed with us while hunting for a home of their own.

Trying to find a “reasonably” priced house on the Monterey Peninsula no matter what the market was doing at the time was a tough one.
Then throw in trying to find a place WITH A DOG, now you’re really in trouble.

It took over a month of house hunting every day before we came even close to finding something.
Close because the owner of the house wasn’t real sure about renting to someone with a dog, she’d never done it before.
We begged.
We suggested she come over the next day and meet Big Red and then decide for herself.

We told her he was VERY old and did nothing but sleep all day.

That was NOT an exaggeration…..it was a big, fat lie!

Let me tell you, the only Retriever I’ve ever known was Big Red so I don’t know if they’re all like him but he was a ball of energy.
He was one of those dogs that loved people, loved to greet them, jumped all over them and gave sloppy dog kisses whether you wanted one or not.

Potential land-lady agreed to stop by at noon the next day and make her decision based on Big Red’s behavior.

We had a dilemma.
We had to calm Big Red down for the big meeting.
I mean REALLY calm him down.

We discussed a few options and decided our best bet was to go with the sure bet…..tranquilize him.

Nothing we really wanted to do but, they needed a home and it was all on Big Reds furry shoulders.

I had a prescription medication for one of my very nervous pets.
It was for when we traveled.
He didn’t like to travel.
But it always worked, it made him drowsy and not care so much about being in the car.
We put it in a piece of cheese and called it “sleepy cheese.”

We began at 8 the next morning; rolled up a tranquilizer in a piece of cheese.
Big Red would never refuse a piece of cheese.

We decided we should see some kind of change in his behavior within 45 minutes.
We waited and watched…..nothing.

What to do?
Another piece of sleepy cheese at 9.
45 minutes later, still nothing.

10?…..yep more cheese.
At 10:45 we checked the label. The medication wasn’t expired but Big Red was over twice the size of the dog the medication was meant for.

We were getting desperate, potential land-lady would be there within the hour and Big Red was still NUTS!!

OK, we HAD to do it; 2 more pills in the cheese.

Now stop here for a moment.
I’m so not an animal abuser, so please don’t go there.
I love animals, I think I even like them more than people BUT…..
desperate situations call for desperate measures.
They needed a home!
Our only hope would be at our house within an hour and Big Red was still running around like the lovable fruit-cake he was.

And then…….he dropped!
Right on the side of the sofa where his owner was sitting.
He wasn’t dead but he sure as hell was in a deep sleep.

We’d call his name and he’d struggle to open one eye just a crack and then down the lid would go.
We’d lift up his head and it would drop to the floor.
Big Red had turned into the dog that we told potential land-lady he was….just an old dog who sleeps all the time.

The door bell rang at noon.
My two dogs ran barking to the door.
Big Red?
He was snoring!

Potential land-lady came in and sat across from Big Red.
She did the eye-test.
Scanning all she could see to make sure we were neat, clean people and….we were!

We did maybe ten minutes of social chit-chat, you know that stuff that goes back and forth when you don’t really know someone but NEED to talk with them.

She was a cute-as-a-bug little lady.
Maybe 75 years old, maybe older but NOT slowed-down or dulled in any way.
Actually, she seemed rather high energy…..like Big Red!

She had a high-pitched, kinda squeaky voice and she talked FAST, real fast.
It was kinda hard to keep up with her.

She was gabbing away when all of a sudden she stopped in mid-sentence, looked over at Big Red and said, “Is that dog dead?”
He hadn’t moved.

“Oh nooooo” we quickly responded, “that’s Big Red, just an old guy who sleeps all day.”

At that point, his owner kinda lifted up his head, he opened his eyes, they kinda rolled and plop his head dropped and he was back to sleep.

Well, how can you refuse a dog like that? A beautiful big, red guy that just sleeps.

Bingo. The deal was made. All because of Big Red!

Potential land-lady was no longer “potential.”
We thanked her, promised her she wasn’t making a mistake taking a chance on a tenant with a big dog and she was gone.

Shortly after she left, Big Red slowly stood up and headed toward the back door. He walked through two rooms hugging the walls for stability.
He found his favorite pee-tree, kinda propped himself up against it and almost fell asleep peeing.

That evening, Big Red got a reward of a bowl of Doggie Ice Cream.
His long, strong tail began to swish back and forth and we knew we were all forgiven for what had happened earlier that day.

Big Red and his owner were movin’ on up!

The house was in Carmel, California…..”south of Ocean Avenue” no less and THAT my friends is status, if status means anything to you.
We all got a big kick out of it.
Big Red got them a house…..in Carmel!
Walkable to downtown and the beautiful Carmel Beach.

It was a really cute house, perfect for Big Red, his owner and his sister who was attending college and home only now and then.

The fenced-in back yard was small but full of enough things to keep Big Red busy during the day while his person-mom went to work.

However, what we didn’t know about Big Red and that cute little back yard was he had an escape plan that he worked on for who knows how long?

We only found out about it one day when his owner got a call at work from the Carmel police department stating that they’d picked him up meandering down The Big Sur.

His person-mom arrived at the P.D. that day after work.
There he was, making himself very comfortable behind the desk socializing with his new uniformed friends.

We all got a big kick out of his escape and, as many times as his mom blocked each place she found where he exited the yard, he just made another one.

Big Red became a little legend in the area, often seen just kinda casually walking down The Big Sur, taking it all in and then always ending up in the Carmel Police Department office.

Carmel was not a high-crime area so the cops didn’t mind taking a drive down The Big Sur to find him when they’d get a call from a concerned citizen.
They said they’d pull up, he’d recognize them and happily jump into the back of their vehicles.
That was Big Red!

Time went on, years went by.
Big Red grew old and ill and then one day I got the call to go with his owner to the Vet, it was time to say bye to Big Red.

His person-mom asked that first he be sedated.
She lied on the floor, held him, talked to him and said good-bye.
And then it was over.
Big Red was gone.

Now what?

What do you do when you’ve just lost a big part of your heart?

You go to the cute neighborhood bar, drink, cry, talk and then drink, cry and talk some more.

Eventually Big Red’s mom got lonely.

Enter Wil-Henry, a crazy Airedale.

But, that’s another story.