It’s Homecoming time of the year.

Remember?

First is finding the perfect outfit; dress, suit or sports jacket.

Then the excitement of getting ready and making sure you look exactly how you want to look.

………………..

Let’s pretend your house will be the meeting spot because…..everyone’s mere months away from having a license to drive but, lucky you….. you have awesome “uber-parents,” always willing to do more than their share to get you and your friends safely to and from your destinations. 

The door bell rings, the dogs start to bark and your date and the group you hang with arrive.  

Then pictures, you gotta have pictures…..fun poses, serious poses, lots of crazy stuff.  

Nobody just stands stiff next to each other like my Homecoming pictures, nope you’re all far beyond that….you’re the selfie generation!

There’s too many to fit in one car.  

It takes both your mom’s and your dad’s car but that’s OK, you have awesome parents.

You’re all delivered to the door of the previously decided on restaurant (hope somebody thought to make reservations), and once inside, you see lots more recognizable faces.

Everyone looks so dressed up, almost grown up.

Bless the servers on these kind of nights…..lots of work and not-so-good IF ANY, tips.

You send a we’re done, come-and-get-us message to your standing-by parents and shortly, there they are, back at the entrance to load you up and off to the next part of your evening.

On to celebrate and mingle with current classmates,  recognize faces from the past who once walked the same halls you now walk, dance, and have a wonderful time.   

…………………….

But WAIT!  

Let’s go back to the beginning of the evening…..the photos.

One of the young girls arrived at the door in jeans carrying a bulging overnight bag.

She was greeted by everyone and then she and the bulging bag disappeared into an empty bedroom.

Within minutes, there she was, out of her jeans, into a lovely dress and looking ready for the evening.

Kids were posing and cameras were clicking. 

When the picture taking had ended the lovely girl who’d arrived last in her jeans, disappeard back into the bedroom again.

Minutes later, she was back.

The dress was gone and in it’s place she wore black pants a white shirt and suspenders.

A seemingly strange happening unless you were aware of the situation as all her friends were.

Her mom knows but she couldn’t confide in her dad.

He wouldn’t understand, he wouldn’t approve.

So she has to pretend to be someone she isn’t and will never be, FOR HER DAD!

She wore the dress long enough for photos.

Photos to show her dad. 

Fake photos of who she isn’t.

After the photos, after she was out of the dress and into her real clothes for the evening, then she became who she really is….a beautiful 15 year old young woman who happens to be gay.

………………..

On my first day of nursing school when the Director Of Nursing walked up to the microphone, her opening statement was, “Walk a mile in my shoes.”

I’ve never forgotten that and it’s served me well.  

It’s given me compassion and understanding.

And so, I’m in the shoes of the father who will not accept his daughter for who she really is.

Who is this man?

What does he feel?

What is he thinking?

Does he even have a hint?

Does he know what his daughter does for HIM?

She pretends to be someone she’s not.

For a moment just try to remember being 15, could you do that?

Could you deny WHO you are to satisfy your dad?

Now I’m wearing HER shoes.

How must if feel to know that you can’t be who you really are because your father wouldn’t approve?

Maybe afraid that he’d hate you…..you love your dad.

You have to always be on guard, always pretending.

Careful how you walk, careful how you talk, careful how you dress.

Your mom knows, your friends know but…..not your dad.

What does that do to a 15 year olds psyche?

Does she feel like there’s something wrong with her, like she’s not “normal?”

If they’re a religious family, is she ashamed?

How heavy of a load that must be for this young woman to carry.

And now I’m slipping into MY shoes.

I can be compassionate, I can be open-minded but I CAN’T UNDERSTAND the thought process of a parent or anyone else who denies someone the right to be WHO THEY ARE.

All I’m saying is I saw something this past week-end that broke my heart and sent me deep into thought.

That dad is missing knowing his real daughter and she is missing being able to share with him who she really is.

I’m aware that this is not my usual Blog Behavior but, please give me this one.

I saw it happen.  It hit me hard.

What am I trying to accomplish?

Certainly not to insult anyone or start a war of words. 

All I’m hoping to do, is maybe shine some light.

Give it a try.

Put on his shoes, then hers and even mine but finally….put on your own, walk a mile and please give it some thought.