There’s a singer, known world-wide.
He’s been around for many, many years.
I never liked any of his music but lots of people did, probably still do.
I mean it was OK music but I’d never buy any of it.

I had a girlfriend.
She was single, never been married but she told me she was in love…..with a singer!
Ya well, I was in love with Elvis too, so what?
No, she was serious.
She saw him twice a year, sometimes more depending on how often he came to Tahoe to entertain.
This happened a long time ago so I don’t remember everything exactly but I think she told me she was barely 21.
She told me the story of the very first time she ever saw him.
Said she was approached before the end of the show by someone telling her that Mr Singer Man invited her to his room after his concert.
All she had to do was follow the messenger guy and, she did.
It was a beautiful friendship…..that’s what she told me.
No hanky-panky…..you know, the wild thing…..none of that she said.
She said he told her he saw the sadness and loneliness in her eyes and wanted to befriend her……..oh, sing your song Mr Singer Man!

Over the years, every time he was gonna be at Tahoe, a room was booked for her in the same hotel.
She often stayed the entire time he was there.
He did two shows a night.
She attended both of them.

As time went on…..their friendship did ripen, know what I mean?

She knew Singer Man was married and I wondered if she knew she was just his Tahoe Pit Stop?
There had to be more like her, probably everywhere he went.

She was willing to accept that she was just one teeny piece of his entire life.

I kinda felt sorry for her.
She really seemed to be in love with him.
Her life revolved around his Tahoe times.
That’s what it was all about for her, waiting for his next Tahoe appearance.
Everything she did was in prep for their next rendezvoux.
She spent her time making sure that when they were together, she had awesome, sexy clothes, always new stuff that he’d never seen…..like, he’d remember?
They couldn’t be seen together, so all the time they spent together was in his hotel rooms…..what a waste of all her lovely clothes!
And I’m bettin’ he liked her OUT of those clothes way more than IN them anyways!

It wouldn’t be enough for me but that’s all she could have, so it was that or nothing.
I pretty much considered that a scrap, close to nothing, but she took it.
Well…..now wait a minute, maybe I’d do it if it were Elvis, so I guess I understood.

I don’t remember how long we were friends before she asked me to join her in Tahoe.
I figured if nothing else, it would be interesting to watch how a big time singing artist pulls it off.
So, OK.

The timing was perfect.
I had the week-end plus Monday off.
She was already up there.
I took the bus.

Busses ran back and forth to and from Tahoe all day, every day.
I checked the schedule and found a departing time that worked for me.
My girls were old enough to fend for themselves for two days and their dad would be home with them, so no worries there.

Early one Saturday afternoon I was on the bus.
90 minutes later I was in Tahoe.
I usually do everything I can to avoid traveling anywhere alone.
I have zero sense of direction and getting lost makes me feel like I’m tumbling down Alice’s Rabbit Hole never to be seen again.
But bus to taxi, taxi to hotel…..I made it!

That evening, we took our time getting ready for the show with wine and girl-talk.
She was SO excited to see him.

When the time was right, we walked down to where the show was gonna be.
I was surprised when she got in line.
Somehow I thought she wouldn’t have to stand in line like a common concert goer.
But, when the ropes were pulled back and we were ushered to our seats….. well, there we were at the first table sitting smack in front of the stage.

It was a 2-drink-minimum show so I ordered two Long Island Ice Teas, which was the drink of the moment.

I loved Long Islands but one was all I could handle if I wanted to continue to be able to think.
Two and I might not be able to walk.
Any more than that and over the edge I went, whacked out of my mind, seriously shot.

I watched my girlfriend during the concert, her eyes seemed to glaze over, she was entranced.
I saw the little looks and winks he gave her and a few of the “secret signs” he made just for her (and all his other little concubines all over the world, I’m sure!!)
Right then and there, that’s what she lived for.

Finally the concert was over.
It had been a long, kinda stressful day and I was looking forward to sleep.
And well…..I had drank both Long Islands and keeping my eyes uncrossed so I wouldn’t trip over my own feet became more difficult with each step.

We walked out of the concert hall with the hoards of other women there to drool over him I guess.
We got just to where the line was forming for the next show and my girlfriend grabbed my arm and pulled me into line.
What the heck was she doing?
She could see the question mark on my face.
I had no idea we were going to TWO shows, it was going on midnight!
I’d forgotten…..she always went to both shows.
Honest, one was more than enough for me…..forever!

Instant replay.
Well, not really instant.
We stood in line for half an hour before one more time the ropes swung open and there we were, sitting exactly where we sat for the first show and in a heartbeat there were TWO MORE Long Islands sitting in front of me.

There was no rule that said I had to drink them but I already had two clouding up my thought process so…..down they went!

Out on the stage he came, same applause, same songs, same little secret signs to my girlfriend and…..well, I’m not sure how it happened but…..I fell asleep!
I did!
I fell asleep sitting right smack in front of Mr-How-Dare-You-Fall-Asleep-During-My-Performance!!!
The next thing I remember there was a bright light shining on my eyes.
He had actually stopped in the middle of a song, told the light guy to put the spotlight on ME and well…..I woke up!

He then, in his microphone requested that the guy who seated me be more careful about who he seats and where!!!!!

You can ONLY IMAGINE my girlfriend’s humiliation.

I don’t even like to think about it, not even today all these years later.

After the show, I walked with her back to our hotel room, I apologized all the way to the room.

She never said even one word to me.

I didn’t know what to do and my thought process was FOUR Long Island Ice Teas clouded.

I couldn’t stay there with her.

I packed my piece of luggage, gathered my stuff and left.

I didn’t know WHAT to do or WHERE to go.

I wanted to be home.

I had a taxi take me to the bus depot and I tried to buy a ticket home. The closest I could get at that time in the middle of the night was the Sacramento Bus Terminal.

I took it.

90 minutes later I was in Sacramento.

Now what was I gonna do?

It was 3:30 in the morning.

I wasn’t gonna call my family and ask anyone to come to Sacramento to get me at that time.
Besides that…..well, you know FOUR Long Island Ice Teas!

I looked around, remember I was WAY over the edge and tired, very tired.

Put my purse down on a chair, used it for a pillow and I went to sleep stretched out over a couple of chairs.

Yep, I slept in the Sacramento Bus Terminal, in a seedy part of downtown Sacramento with a bunch of street people and few real scary looking characters.

I wasn’t sober enough to be afraid.

Later in the morning I took the bus closer to my home and arranged for a family pick-up.

It took me a long time to tell that story to even my husband.

My girlfriend?

She wasn’t my girlfriend anymore, she never spoke to me again.

The singer man?

Every now and then I hear one of his songs somewhere and the entire horrible memory comes rushing back.

Long Island Ice Teas?
Didn’t drink another one for a long, long time but eventually there was a reason…..but,
that’s another story!